In my seven years of working (yes, I started to work in high school – I’m being honest – seven years), I have come across a wide variety of people. I have worked with people of all ages – private and public organisations (software company) and with students and teachers (teach Information Technology at a few local high schools).
As just about anyone in IT would agree, IT professionals can be very arrogant and I am not exempt to this trait by any degree – it is something that I need to be very aware of all the time and admittedly - it is something I really work hard at avoiding.
Often you will come across people that you dislike – both in a working environment or in a social environment – the main difference being that you cannot always chose the people you work with.
If there is one thing that really raises my blood pressure and makes me burn up in rage – it is dealing with difficult people who have a bad attitude (in the form of being grumpy, unfriendly, unprofessional or just outright rude and arrogant).
Attitude: A settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person’s behavior
Something that I learnt in school was that attitude is a choice. It is a choice that only you can make for yourself. You chose how to perceive a situation and you choose how you react to it.
I recently was reading about how you can deal with people who have a negative attitude around you. I found the following saying really insightful:
It’s our Attitude, and not necessarily our Aptitude, that determines our Altitude in life.
Your choice of an attitude is a life choice – it can determine the quality of life you live. Those who choose a bad one, often will be unhappy, unfriendly and generally an unpleasant person to be around as they breed negativity. Be cautious and aware of such people – avoid allowing them to bring you down.
Just today, I had to deal with an unpleasant co-worker. The tone of voice and body language both shouted arrogant and as I walked away to go to my next appointment, I was negatively affected – I thought “Oh, she really doesn’t respect me, or like me. I really try to be friendly to her, I really respect her”.
Tone of voice supposedly gives off around 40% of your message to another person. However this is not the main evil here – body language is. Out of the remaining 60% of the message – 55% is derived from your body language. That leaves only 5% to what you are actually verbally portraying.
With students, this is just about always true. If you have ever asked a question to an ‘energetic excited to learn group’ of students – you will see hands flying up to answer a question and see a sense of satisfaction as they get the correct answer. However on the flip side, a class that is uninterested and has a lack of motivation, often will not give you eye contact and you will be forced to select the student to answer the question – which generally comes with a shrug of a shoulder and a grunt or two.
The above mentioned is not really a question of intelligence, rather an attitude issue. You choose your attitude toward everything you do.
So what do you do? On my way in the car, I thought about what I could do about the situation which arouse and initially though “Do I bring it up with an authority?”, “Is that a childish way to deal with the issue?”, “Should I just continue to show respect and friendliness in the attempt to be the bigger person?”.
After some time and reading up, I came to the conclusion that not everybody is going to like me – not because I am a bad person or an unbearable person (which is possible), but because they have chosen an attitude which forbids them from giving others respect – or even the ability to be civil. I have decided that I will try with every part of my being to not change the way I deal with people like that – to continue to show them respect and friendliness – despite how they ‘talk’ (tone, body language) to me.
I refuse to step down to their level. I will not, and I hope those around me will hold me accountable to this – as I would do to them.
In closing, choose your attitude. Make the difference. Do not allow negative people to bring you down to their level – lead the way in hopes to bring them up to your level and beyond.
